masochistic soul
2003-06-06

This section copied and pasted from another Journal:

"I'm not afraid of your actions. I'm not afraid of your scars. I'm not afraid of your hungers. I'm not afraid of you.

I'm just afraid you'll lie to me again."

I could have written that. That is very much how I feel. Not in the mood to elaborate further, but when I saw that in her journal, it struck a chord.

On a slightly intertwined note. I'm feeling the craving so strongly tonight. Maybe because of the discussion between Wick, Kata, and I. I want to feel that hand in my hair. Feel it brush against my chest to calm me. To sink into it. To let it all go. To just be. Heavy lidded, eyes rolling up, gasping in pleasure. ecstasy. enveloping every part of my body, my heart, my soul, my mind.

Does that feel good?

girlie

tell me

girlie

girlie

tell me

tell me how good it feels

yeah

you like that, don't you

good girl

I feel the no's rolling off of my tongue. The in-escapability of it all. The crack of the wood against my ass. The pressure of his fingers on my chest. His body against my back, the breathing. The desire to drop to my knees and worship him. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes. The stars shining so bright. Then the clarity strikes.

It all fades away and I am left wanting.

�

�

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