i know i can, be what i want to be....
2003-07-24

So essentially, I've lost all motivation with everything. Work is annoying the hell out of me, I'm tired all the time, and I'm eating for shit.

Last night while I was laying in bed I decided it doesn't matter whether I'm motivated or not, I just need to get the FUCKING work done. Whether its going to the gym or answering fifty zillion helpdesk incidents while no one else is working. I need to do what I need to do for me, no one else.

I'm annoyed as hell, I called D and left him a message this weekend. I need to know what I'm doing. I would rather go to the beach for a week than go to Texas. Not to mention the whole 'having to testify' thing. I don't wanna, I don't wanna.

I would really really love for my sleeping patterns to normalize again. Last night I ended up taking a nap at 6:30. That was not conducive to me actually being able to sleep through the night. I had to watch the twins today. Which means I'm really sleepy. I have to watch the twins tommorow too. Not sure about next week yet. I like it when I don't have to watch them, I can sleep in.

My newest for of self masochism is the elliptical, I did some serious running on it yesterday. My ass is so sore today :D It feels gooooooood. Not as good as being beat, but it'll have to do for now.

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