I want to always feel that feeling
2003-06-06

I'm still feeling kind of crappy. But not so bad today. Daddy stayed home from work. I've gotten him sick :(. I really feel bad about it, I'm sure he will get sicker than me. I'm going to be gone all next week though.

There were two tractor trailer accidents on the way to work this morning, within a mile of each other. Quite annoying. I actually knew about them beforehand and still chose to go that way. Suprisingly I was still on time. Traffic was light except for the accidents.

Emily gets out of school at 11 today, so she'll be home while the twins are napping and I'm working. I brought my ps2 games with me for her to play with. I hope my Kingdom Hearts game works. It wasn't working in Jamie and Jon's playstation before I left. I'm hoping that was just a freak occurance.

I spoke with Jamie for an hour yesterday while the twins were eating lunch. It was good. I miss her. I'm sure I did the right thing, but it still sucks sometimes. I'm in a much more emotionally healthy situation right now, even if I'm not involved with anyone. I'm sort of looking for people to date. Do you know what I mean? I actually respond to people that are in my local area when they PM. I talk to them, I try not to hate them right away. But I've also decided i'm not just going to meet someone and have sex with them. LOL I'm still vaccilating on the whole beating thing. I really don't want a random spanking though. I want to feel submission. I crave it. I can be beat and not submit, but it is not so fulfilling.

My mom's birthday is the 17th. My sister wants me to plan some sort of party for her. I suck at such things. Carrie called Dreamer too though and Dream suggested having dinner over here and it being a suprise. Works for me.

~Jessica

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